Tis the Season: Time to Update Those Fish Pics on Your Tinder
It’s that time of year again.
The weather is warming up, the lakes and streams are teeming with hungry fish, and the dating apps are teeming with eager matches looking for Mr. Swipe Right.
So you know what that means: there’s no better time to refresh the most important fish photo and “hook” on Tinder.
Now, you may have heard that “Fish Tinder” is full of unhappy, self-aware brothers who think they’re Poseidon’s gift to women.
But you’re not THAT guy. Fishing is your passion. Your happy place. Your excuse to drink 12 beers on a Sunday afternoon. It would be a lie NOT to include a picture of fish on your profile. And the honorable and principled community of Tinder would never tolerate such misrepresentations.
When you’re ready to show the world of anonymous potential friends that you’re the outdoor, qualified, sleazy supplier they’ve been dreaming of, here are some tips for making the most of that money.
1. Go big or go home.
If you are not proud of the size of this fish, then it never existed. Bury that photo in the folder labeled “For Mom” and never talk about it again. There are bigger fish in the sea, and you need to bring out your best fish at all times. As they say, you can tell a man’s height by the height of the thing that’s making his Tinder profile.
2. Hold that damn fish in your hands.
You can use a net during the catch. But once the camera rolls, you better have that fish firmly in your hands, showing your future wife going through vanilla Chads and not fishing that you’re not afraid to get your hands dirty. hands. You’re going to scrap and supply everything she’s ever dreamed of, right after you finish funding that new fly rod…and those waders…and the boat….
3. Look at the fish, not the camera.
Unless you’re Butch Brown, the GOAT of bass fishing, and you’re ready to “assault” the camera with five giant bass on your rope, your gaze must be firmly fixed on your catch.
The angle is perfect for showing off your undoubtedly chiseled jawline and provides an opportunity for a relaxed triceps curl. Looking at the fish tells The Swiper that you might not like it after all, and girls can’t resist a weird guy on the internet playing hard to get.
Just make sure you try not to look too happy. It’s your passion, so you catch fish like that all the time. To the right?
4. If you eat catfish, do what you want.
If you’re the type to hoist monster catfish out of the river with bare handsyou are a different race.
And if you put that picture of fish on Tinder, it doesn’t matter whether you’re looking at the camera or the fish or your half-eaten hand sticking out of its mouth, you’re a legend.
Frankly, it doesn’t matter if The Swiper on Tinder likes your photo with this monster or not. Be true to yourself, beast. Because who knows, the next Hannah Baron could be out there just trying to find the right guy to do noodles with late into the night.
So good luck and skill out there, angler friends! Fish bite, Swipers slide and noodlers noodle. Keep your iPhones handy and snap that swoon-worthy fish shot of his dreams this season. This is YOUR year.
And ladies, that goes for you too…